How to Identify a Threat

No matter how good you are at defending yourself, you have got to learn when to use your skills. Identifying threats early is the best way to stay safe. If you can identify a threat before it becomes a serious problem, you may be able to avoid an altercation all together.

As I discussed in my article on reading people, our gut reactions are the best tools we have to keep us safe. Too often we second guess ourselves and ignore our gut reactions when we find ourselves in potentially dangerous situations.

We want to believe that the world is nice and fair, but sometimes that just isn’t the case. So let’s go over a few rules that you can use to identify a threat and whether or not you should be using your skill to fight back.

Step #1 – Define Your Comfort Zone

If you’re uncomfortable in a situation, you need to be aware of that. We don’t feel these types of emotions for no reason. If you start to feel uncomfortable for any reason, recognize it and start trying to fix the problem.

Let’s say, ladies, that you’re at a party and you’ve met a nice guy. The conversation has been good and you like him, but now he’s had one too many and he’s coming on a little strong. He’s leaning in too close and he’s not picking up on your hints to back off. As the night wears on he’s making you more and more uncomfortable.

This is one of the times when you need to define your comfort zone and keep him in it. Tell him in no uncertain terms where your boundaries are and that he stays on the comfortable side of the line. No one has the right to make you uncomfortable intentionally or otherwise. He may simply not realize what he’s doing and need a gentle reminder.

Which brings us to step two:

Step #2: Everyone Deserves a Verbal Warning

If you’re in a situation that makes you uncomfortable, you need to let that be known. For one thing, the other person might not realize what they’re doing is making you uncomfortable and for another your warning will help make their intentions clear.

When my wife and I were in college she had an altercation when a man wouldn’t stop following her a dark parking garage. When she realized that he was getting too close for comfort, she spun around and confronted him, one hand firmly in her purse and clasping her pepper spray.

The guy said he wanted a ride and my wife refused and told him to leave her alone. When he kept walking forward, she promptly maced him, got in her car and left.

If this guy had simply wanted a ride, her verbal warning would’ve been a clear indication. But he didn’t want a ride and he kept coming forward despite her telling him not to. He showed then and there that he was a clear threat and worthy of a little pepper spray.

Everyone deserves a “shot across the bow” so to speak. This verbal warning clearly draws the line and shows you who is going to cross it and who means no harm.

Step #3 – Don’t Be the First One to Swing

If you’re in a physical altercation, never be the first one to swing a punch. That makes you the aggressor. Let your opponent move toward you first, that establishes the threat and gives you a clear window of defense.

Remember that any physical altercation can end up in a court room and you don’t want to be the attacker. You want to be able to show that you were simply defending yourself against a very clear threat to your well being.

That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t defend yourself if you feel threatened. Don’t hesitate if you feel your boundaries have been crossed, but never start an altercation without a good reason.

We’re not here to hurt people and win fights. We’re here to make sure that no one can take advantage of you. We’re here to make sure that you can keep yourself safe. That means never being the guy who starts the fight, but always being the guy who ends it.